One of the items on your very important list of things to remember when planning your wedding, is choosing your best man and maid of honor. If they are going to help with planning your wedding, form a list of duties which will be left in their hands. Also, ask yourself why you would like them to have the highest position at your wedding party.

That being said, we took this question to the internet and came up with some advice from the following two websites. We trust that this advice will help you make a decision and have peace with your choice, knowing your wedding sanity is in the right hands.

Firstly, we take a look at 5 ways to pick the right maid of honour or best man from, written by Felicia Tan, 26 Jan 2018:

Make this decision carefully, as they will be by your side throughout the entire wedding process – from the planning to the actual day, and possibly after.

  1. Family comes first
    If you have a brother or sister and are close, he or she should be your maid or matron of honour/best man, or man of honour/best maid or matron. This will save you the hassle of having to choose between your close friends.
  2. You can have more than one maid/matron of honour and/or best man
    There are no rules when it comes to the number of people you’d like to have in your wedding party. Whether you’ve got a best friend and sibling, or more than one best friend who you’re equally close to, consider asking the both of them to stand up with you on the day of.
  3. Pick the right qualities
    You will need someone who is responsible, is physically, mentally and financially available to help (because you’d be doing him or her a disservice if he or she is swamped with other responsibilities), and has seen you undressed (especially for brides who might need help going to the washroom).
    You also do not need: someone who’s self-centered, prone to histrionics, and so on. He or she should be your rock and anchor, and someone who’s able to support you while you go through the stresses of planning (and spending) for the wedding.
  4. The decision is yours
    Don’t let anyone influence you on your decision, as you have to feel good about your choice ultimately. If you think you can’t choose between your group of friends, then have a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen and do without the maid/matron of honour and best man.
  5. Look forward, not backward
    When drawing up your list, choose people who can and are going to be committed from the start to the end. Also, don’t choose people based on the fact that you’ve stood up for them at their wedding before. These should be people who you can see in your life going forward.

Secondly, we take a look at the advice given by Leah Messenger from Wedding ideas mag:


One of the groom’s duties is choosing his best man, as well as the rest of the groomsmen. But how do you make that decision? We’ve got a few things for you grooms to think about…

Think: options
Write up a little list of best man ‘contenders’ – your brother, your cousin, your dad, your best mate from when you were little, or a more recent one. The choice is really yours, but be realistic about who would make a good best man, or who would actually want the responsibility of a best man.

Think: duties
…this is where it pays to think of the duties they’ll need to take on! From sorting a stag do that all the groomsmen will enjoy to the big day responsibilities of welcoming guests, calming the groom, and of course the best man speech. Whoever you choose will need to be reliable enough for the role, as well as have, at least minimal, organizational skills…

Think: personalities
Do you think they’d manage with this level of responsibility? What about doing the speech in front of all your wedding guests? Being a best man can be a lot of pressure on a person, especially when it comes to the big day itself. But the question is, who d’ya think has got what it takes?

Think: wifey
As much as it’s the groom’s decision of who gets the role of best man, it’s always a good idea to choose someone that gets on well with the bride-to-be. That way, she’ll be worrying less about all of the group’s antics on the stag do, and the best man speech won’t be totally orientated around making a fool of the groom… (Maybe even making fun of the bride, too!).

Think: speeches
Talking of embarrassing speeches, before picking your best man, you should consider what kind of speech you’d want to get from him. The best man speech is something that is much-anticipated by the rest of the bridal party as well as the guests at the wedding. Whether you want a speech that cracks jokes throughout or something a little more mature perhaps, think about the best person to do that.

Think: more than one?
Do you know what? You don’t even just have to have just one best man. If it’s a tricky choice between two, why not just go for both? This will help the best man out in terms of splitting the responsibilities between them, and be a great help for you too! And hey, having to fit in a second best man speech means that you’ll just have to cut short your best mate’s speech full of humiliating stories. What a shame.

As you keep these tips in the back of your mind, remind yourself that they are just that, tips to help guide you in the decision making. These aren’t rules and in the end, you need to trust your heart and your gut on who to choose.

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